94 Red Bull Cans
This image is a just over a year old…It’s the evidence of my first efforts to draw attention to the plague of crap being dumped in the lanes around my home.
This is the story so far. It’s a short story as other distractions (life, work, the garden, holidays) keep me from donning my litter warrior armour and trying to make people wake up (unassisted by Red Bull) to the mess that is covering our countryside.
I realise I am turning into my Dad. The sort of person who writes to newspapers and their MP asserting that the media or overworked MP, with more pressing issues on their hands, devote time and energy to one’s own obsession (in Dad’s case-this would be Planning). I’ve even thought about contacting Sir David Attenborough. But I think at his age he can be forgiven for focussing on the simple issue of saving the planet, rather than rubbish in the hedgerows around Crawley, West Sussex.
So…hands up all those who have chucked a can or plastic bottle out of their car window as they drive to and from work. …
What…no-one? Really? So…who are the mindless morons who do it? Why do they do it? How can we stop them?
The following are copies of the letters I wrote to the MD, Marketing Director and Brand Manager of Red Bull UK in March 2018. I wrote to them, as their cans were top of the list when it came to brands mindlessly chucked onto the road. I thought my letters were really rather good-funny and worthy of a response. Did I get one? Nope-not a sausage.
LETTER NUMBER ONE (only sent to MD and Head of Marketing)
Dear Messrs Rake and Charles,
I am writing to you both on the topic of rubbish and littering. (Bear with me..I have worked hard on this letter and you may even find it mildly entertaining).
“Redbull gives you wings”.
It’s time for you guys to earn the aforementioned wings (and the matching halo).
I have come to the conclusion that some motorists may have misunderstood your advertising slogan. They seem to think that if they chuck their used Redbull cans out of the car window, said cans miraculously sprout wings and fly off over the horizon to a magic rubbish bin high in the sky…
(I’m being kind…in truth the ignorant, littering selfish bastards don’t give a flying f**k where the can ends up).
I read the blurb on your website…
6.3 billion cans per year sold.
All 100% recyclable[1].
I live on the Surrey/Sussex borders, in the country, but not that far from Gatwick airport. It’s a leafy and attractive part of the world, despite the planes and the traffic, though much of the latter uses the road outside our house as a rat-run between Crawley/Horsham and the airport.
I go running around the lanes in a vain attempt to keep my middle-aged bod from expanding middle-aged spread. It’s a nice route of about 4.2 miles, and about 2 miles of it are along the rat-run. It should be beautiful. It is, well, …sort of. In truth, I want to weep with despair at the mounting rubbish that now litters the lanes. It’s awful. While David Attenborough is galvanising the population to think about plastic and the pollution of the oceans, I just have to look out of the end of the drive across the road to the hedge to see the damage other people’s, selfishness, ignorance and stupidity is doing to our beautiful countryside.
Redbull drinkers as not, to be fair, the only culprits. I’m really not picking on you (honest!). On a couple of occasions, walking back from the pub, my other half and I have spontaneously started to pick up rubbish from the roadside. In the space of a mile we managed on both occasions to fill at least one bin liner’s worth each (the bin liners being kindly left by the litter chucking rascals as if they already knew someone would be along shortly to clear up their mess).
I am sorry to say that yourcans are alwaysthe most common of the various drinks cans retrieved from the ditch, hedge and undergrowth.
Today I decided to count the empty Red Bull cans on the right-hand side of around a 2 mile stretch of road as I jogged past. I was probably doing about 10km an hour (I’m no Paula Radcliffe), so I can’t say I spotted them all. The undergrowth is just starting to sprout. My count was 17 visible to me, the passing runner, in around a 2 mile stretch, on just one side of the road.
I’ve just done a (very unscientific) calculation.
According to a government website there are 18800 miles of “B” roads in Britain, urban and rural. (I think our road is in fact a “C” road). 8 per mile equals 150000 empty Red Bull cans littering the roadside.
The question is…what can we do about it?
I think we need a funky campaign. Not one like the rather lame “Keep Britain Tidy” campaign of the 1970s and 80s. We need a cool brand to front it. Not a middle aged “Mary Whitehouse for the 21stcentury” (i.e. not me), but someone with proper credibility amongst “young people” i.e. YOU! We need to “nudge” the population into not chucking stuff out of their car windows-be they Red Bull cans, MacDonald’s wrappers, or used nappies (yes really)..
Here in Rusper, I’d love signs as you enter our parish. My proposed tag line at the moment is “Don’t mess with Rusper” and other such amusing, charming and persuasive bon mots to a. make people smile (even though I want to wring their ignorant necks) and b. make them take their cans/bottles/crisp packets/fag packets/nappies/plastic bags/burger boxes/coffee cups/beer bottles home.
So, I’m asking you, Gentlemen of Red Bull…how about directing some of that ludicrously large marketing budget of yours towards being the lead in clearing up the mess and preventing it from happening in the first place? Chucking litter should have all the social unacceptability of being invited by Harvey Weinstein for a quick dip in his Jacuzzi.
Red Bull reallywould deserve its halo and wings if it can change attitudes and behaviours to messing up our green and pleasant land.
Yours Sincerely
[1]Not round here they aren’t
LETTER NUMBER TWO-SENT BY SNAIL MAIL TO EACH RECIPIENT INDIVIDUALLY AT THE HEAD OFFICE IN LONDON
13thMarch 2018
FAO: Jamie Vaughan Rake (MD Red Bull UK)
Peter Charles (Marketing Director)
Damien Marshall (Head of Brand)
Red Bull Cans Don’t Have Wings[1]
Gentlemen,
Whilst I flatter myself to think that my previous amusing and persuasive emails to the generic Red Bull Contact email address would have been brought to your attention (if only for a laugh), I know, in reality, most likely they were not.
See attached for the story so far. Your staff response (also attached) was, to put it mildly, lame (if indeed it waswritten by a human, please teach them to spell properly).
So I thought, “bugger this, it’s time for me to approach the big cheeses”. i.e. you three, who, as far as I can tell, are in charge at Red Bull HQ UK.
Yesterday, 12thMarch, conforming to all the stereotypes of the middle-aged busybody, I walked the 2 miles of road referred to in my earlier email; this time equipped with some bags for discarded can collecting. It was raining and the ditches were full of water. I got wet, and muddy, as I plucked Red Bull empties from the verges. Thankfully I didn’t fall in the ditch and drown, or you would have had my untimely demise on your conscience as well.
Since my return, I’ve visited your website and read your advice to customers:
“When to drink
On the road
Every traveler knows that the most important factor for a safe journey is an alert state of body and mind. Red Bull is the ideal fuel for those who cover many kilometers. Whether it’s a stressful business trip, a spontaneous excursion or while on vacation, take a break and reach out for a cold can of Red Bull. “[2]
You may be delightedto learn that Red Bull is indeed, here on the borders of West Sussex and Surrey, an extremely successful brand. Customers are most definitely taking your recommendation set out above to heart, bravely facing the daily struggle driving the back roads to and from Horsham, Crawley and Gatwick airport.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say Red Bull outnumbers all other drinks brands chucked into the hedge by passing motorists. The next most popular (though not actually cleared up by me) was probably Kronenbourg 1664. I spotted a few Carlings and even the odd Tennants Extra. It must be reassuring to know that at least Red Bull[3]drinkers aren’t p*ssed when they throw their cans out of the car window. Is that a virtue? You decide…
Anyway, back to today’s pickings (see photo) laid out end to end in the garden.
There was I thinking, after my initial survey at running pace last week, that 8 cans a mile was quite a lot. There are……ta daaa…! …94cans in the photo below. Some have already been in the hedge for a while as they bear the scars of the summer verge trimmer. There were another couple of cans I spotted but couldn’t reach as they were the other side of a muddy ditch.
So… if I were to apply the same utterly unscientific maths as I did in my first email to the number of Red Bull cans which may be lurking along all the B roads in the UK (18800 miles at 48 cans per mile) we come to the grand total of 902400 empty can littering the nation’s minor highways. Shall I round that up to a million? I think I shall…
Yes…I know it’s a completely random number and (I hope) overstates the problem by a significant margin, but doesn’t it make you think?
WE need to do something about it. Your product is being discarded throughout the land by mindless individuals, who don’t give a shit. Banging on about how your cans as 100% recyclable is having nil effect.
Red Bull can do something, and really help clear up the mess that is being created by your customers as well as many others. Philanthropy may not be a driving force behind the brand image, but that’s precisely whyRed Bull could help stop the menace of mindless littering where others can’t. I value our countryside. My guess is that you do too. Your brand promotes the outdoor lifestyle and adventure. So why should those of us who participate in such activities, have to wade through other peoples’ waste.
In conclusion, I would like a constructive and considered response to this and my earlier email.
Yours Sincerely
[1]Unless your Head of Brand, with his degree in Aerospace Engineering, has a surprise up his sleeve.
[2]I see we have adopted American spelling on the UK website too. Ugh.
[3]The empty cans of Monster numbered under 10-so that’s all good for you guys then isn’t it?
Two weeks ago, I came back from a holiday and went for a run. The sight that greeted me in the first half mile, made me want to weep. The undergrowth was springing up and I decided I had to take action before everything was submerged. It’s a half mile stretch. I really didn’t appreciate what I was getting into. 4 hours later I had 11 bags of rubbish, including the ubiquitous cans, bottles, plastic and glass, hub caps, crisp packets, fag packets, a kettle (!?), a pair or worn out boots, burger wrappers, coffee cups, bits of cardboard, plastic bags…
Who does this? Why? Can’t we make this issue as antisocial as dropping your pants and taking a shit on the pavement in the middle of the High Street?
The Litter Warrior 